"The Comfort Zone"

It is an inspirational message indeed,
Thank you for sharing this one.

im not sure if im supposed to comment here but im a prime example of everything you spoke of in this thread hun, let me explain if i may.

for 20 yrs, my husband and i cared for my physically and mentally challenged son, although he was in collage for a few hours each day we were both stay at home parents on call 24/7.

Unfortunately, my son passed away a lil over a yr and a half ago, it was such a traumatic time for us all, it was so unexpected and no one could tell us what had caused him to stop breathing.

My husband, two daughters and i moved into the hospital from the october until the january when we brought him home to spend his last few days with us.

Its bad enough to lose a child, but we lost our whole way of life too, suddenly there was just us, i was forced to take a job where i hadnt worked in 23 yrs and had lost my confidence compleatley. It only lasted two months before i finally broke.
It was and still is an horrendous time, as much as id love to move on with my life, and lord knows ive tried, i cant seem to brake free of this anxiety and down feeling that overshadows me from time to time.
Ive become unbelievably forgetfull and cant stay focussed for long and so it continues.

I will however find some comfort here i think, and perhaps the inspiration i need to move on.
thasnks for reading x

Wendy,

Hello my dear. There is a welcome message posted for you on the forum. And yes, by all means you are welcome to post any replies to any message, and through any thread. And there are many threads where you can post your own messages if there is something that you want to share. You'll find there are many different avenues (topics) to choose from on the forum index that is available to all members at any time.

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. A year and a half is still holds some quite fresh emotions, feelings. And let me say that you never get over the loss of your son, instead you learn how to live with the loss. My husband and I lost our youngest son from SIDS in 1999, he would be 12 now, and even though my days are okay, of course if I were able to choose....I'd rather him be here right now. But I have gotten use to the idea of him being my little angel in Heaven, and for me?....that helps sooo much! Little by little you will see that some normality will come back into your life. And the fact that you are seeking for positive influence, is a huge plus! Just having the desire means a lot! Those who just quit life all together are the ones who are in some real danger mentally, emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. Do the things that make "you" feel better when regarding your son, what ever it is, and that helps a lot as well.

Hope this helps. And I hope to get to know you better as we chat back and forth. Take care, and again...Welcome!

thankyou for your response nancy,
i guess im lucky that mark, my son is buried about ten feet away from my back garden (if that ) we have the cemetary on the back of us and we put a gate in the fence so we can nip through when ever the fancy takes us, either together or individually.

This may sound a bit weird to some but i find the cemetary a very calming and serene, spiritual place, but then i always did due to my long term involvement with spirit and the paranormal.
So for me, mark is like a blanket around me always, where as for my husband, he still feels the need to visit him every day.

Luckily, my two daughters and ourselves talk openly and fondly about mark and still include him in a lot of family things, we have found the strength to laugh and smile through him as it was his personality to be bubbly 24/7.

So i wouldnt say its easy, im being treat for depression and anxiety, but we manage ,we take each day as it comes, hoping for that sense of normality to come back, but for now its proving pretty difficult.x

While in the "comfort zone"... honestly, how comfortable is it? The comfort zone is no more than something that you are familiar with, however, truthfully you've settled for less. And this is all due to fear of some sort. Perhaps it is anxiety, the unknown, lack of confidence, etc. which keeps us from stepping out of that shell and moving into something different. And when we settle for less just because it is something we are familiar with, in the long run we aren't that comfortable after all. We aren't living to our fullest potential.

There comes a time, many times in life when we must step out of the comfort zone in order to move forward in life in a positive direction. And many things can fall into this stagnant routine of life; such as financially, economically, socially, and even including emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. And so many more.

We usually know when the time has come for a need in change. And we usually know precisely "what" it is that we need to change. And we also know that we must step out of the comfort zone in order to face it and achieve that goal.

We also know, however, that we need the strength to get through it, and that is usually when we fail to move forward. That inner strength to move forward, to make the change successfully, and to have the happiness that we seek for in the end. And because of our fears, what ever they are, we tend to remain in that comfort zone for just a while longer. But it is inevitable that one day we will remind ourselves once again about these things and the need to step out of the comfort zone, and the debate in our head begins again.

But once we have come to a point of desperation, sick and tired of being sick and tired...we suddenly muster up the courage, strength, and desire to be willing to step out of that shell, the comfort zone. And to do what ever we can do for this moment to move forward in the direction we long to go. And we even may find that we have to take it in strides, one step at a time in order to accomplish the task at hand. But we are finally willing to do what ever we can for today, and then again for tomorrow, and so on. Then we finally find that we had the strength long ago to accomplish it all along, if we had just stepped out of the comfort zone in the first place. And we discover that by doing so, we are happiest in the long run.

And finally, if we can apply these life lessons to other issues in life, we will also find that our life entirely can be changed dramatically in all aspects of life. And we find that we have more pride in our self, our strength multiplies, and following this, our life as a whole will blossom with blessings of many kind.